A View from the Window

Last week A couple of short weeks ago I had tweeted "As a little girl I'd grab a chair & stare out my window.  I find myself in that very same chair but my view is a little different."

When I was little I was the child with the oldest parent, as a result being 10 years younger than my oldest sister.  I was the child who lived with 5 women as a result of my great aunt and grandma living downstairs.  I was the child who had the only divorced parents as a result of, well, a divorce.  And at times, I felt like the only child...in the world...as a result of my over thinking.

When I looked out the window I looked for something, somewhere I could fit in.  Something I was missing.  Something I longed for.  I hated looking outside that window. 

And here I am about 30 plus years later and I still look out the window.  But instead of those feelings, today I examine what's inside the window, breath and accept. 

What's inside? A little boy and his mommy. 

A mommy who is determined to do it all by herself.  Maybe not perfectly.  Maybe not as fast.  Maybe...

A little boy who is creative and social and amazingly handsome.  A child who wants it all, wants to be the all...and looks for love and acceptance from all. 

And all of that, he needs to know, can be found in his house home inside the window...Within that little boy and his mommy.